2024; summing up
2024 was the year of Saturn which meant karmic rewards or punishments (though, I don’t really like this word - think of it as “lessons learned”). It was the year of getting what you deserve in most parts of your life, but also transforming. Therefore, “going through it” for the sake of metamorphosis. Number 8.
For me, nothing tragic happened, but it was eventful in the sense that it taught me greatly about myself.
So,
There is (almost) never the right moment.
You literally cannot wait for things to just happen. There is something that is called “divine timing” and I believe in it strongly, but this only means that certain things beyond our control, fall or don’t fall into place for the best of reasons. The rest is up to you. Is there something you really want to do? The best time is exactly when you desire it to be so. Don’t wait until you feel you’re “ready”, that is almost mythical, in a sense. You will never feel ready. You will probably never wake up one day and decide that it is your time. Go towards you desire and then, you will find out where it leads you (or not). It will turn out to be the most wonderful thing you have ever attempted or instill a greater understanding about yourself.
It’s the year I started an acting course. I thought “what if” and I just enrolled. And it was the most cathartic thing I’ve ever done. I found myself crying at the unexplainable shame I felt when I had to look the other students in the eye when practicing my monologues and yes, I could think I was not ready for this. But I pushed through, because I needed that challenge and through the whole process. I tore down one or two of my walls.
A couple of months later, I approached this guy on the subway because I liked him and he made me feel things I had never felt before. It didn’t turn out to be anything significant, but it still showed me something. No regrets.
Your comfort zone is a death sentence.
It’s absolutely incredible how comfortable and safe we can get exactly where we are. I don’t want to shame your current reality or wherever you are at the moment, because most, if not at all times, you are exactly where you need to be. But not when that place is costing you growth, much needed change and physical or mental health, you need to leave.
Nobody can literally take you by the hand and force you to move on. When you know you have outgrown certain paths or aspects of your life, you need to zoom out. I love thinking about this, because it’s true. When we are too focused on what we’re going through and too long in the game, we can’t see the big picture. You have to mentally zoom out and look at the forest, instead of the trees:
What are you doing here? Does it serve you? Do you honestly believe there’s nothing better for you out there? Are you sure?
It’s also crazy how we can believe the most limiting things about ourselves and our lives, just because we haven’t switched or made any different moves. Trust me when I say that once you’re out of the reality you don’t want to be in, you will see things so much more clearly. And it will shock you.
So, make the move. Don’t sit and ponder when your being is unsettled and nothing feels alive and exciting anymore. It’s slowly killing you and life is too short for that.
Change is scary, but 100% worth it.
This year’s highlight goes to…me, moving to another country and out of my parent’s house for the first time.
No, change is not easy. You will feel it when it’s time to move forward, but even when that happens, it will still be a little messy. It’s like learning how to walk again, but now you have all the tools you need from your previous experiences.
You might think you want to give up, but don’t.
You will probably feel alone in this change. The unknown is scary because it holds every kind of possibility. We tend to think about the worst case scenarios first, because human beings are wired to be attracted to what’s “bad” and “scandalous” and negative. Reframe that. “Every kind of possibility” only means you got a handful of very, very positive ones in it. And I’m pretty positive (no pun intended) that your wildest dreams are included.
Be patient. It takes patience to become who you aspire to be and consistency to see results, sometimes. Either way, you are blessed to be able to change and pivot, so learn how to embrace it. Life is like that, so let’s just learn how to dance with it all.
Cherish your people.
There’s honestly nothing more beautiful and soul fulfilling than having people in your life who love you and support you. Those, of course can be family but they can also be friends. I always say that there can be so much genuine love in friendships, that focusing mostly on romantic love for this life is kind of sad.
You could acquire the whole world and all the money and the fame and the social status you desire. And they still won’t matter at all if you don’t have people in your life to share these things with.
Love is the flavor, otherwise everything else would taste bad or meaningless. Material wealth or lofty aspirations are great and I encourage them, as I myself am fond of the fine life and its pleasures, but I will always prioritise my relationships over anything else.
Hug them often, tell them that you love them even if you never said it before and it makes you awfully vulnerable. Learn how to listen and be there with your full presence. Cherish them.
It’s part of being and staying healthy and thriving.
Fake it till you make it.
And I don’t mean bottling down your feelings or pretending to feel joyful when you’re not. I’m all about expressing your emotions (instead of rationalising them which I have mastered, oops) and letting it out and being present with what you feel. But -
I have found that after much needed grieving and pondering and working through my emotional waters, everything else is a mental decision. Sounds robotic, I know.
Your feelings are massively influenced by your thoughts. Even if you don’t consciously understand it, every feeling has a specific thought attached to it. For example, if I believe that at the end of the day I’m not worth much or that I’m not that important, one person’s constructive criticism or innocent comment will have me spiraling and ruin my whole day. This is only because that said person “validated” what I really think about myself. If I was more secure, I would be able to brush it off and move on. In the case of the constructive criticism, I would be thankful for the opportunity to improve my behaviour or work or whatever and actively choose to integrate the lesson.
With that being said, your thoughts cannot change unless you decide to change them.
So, decide:
I am important and loved and worthy of every good thing this life has to offer me, because I exist.
You can also rephrase it to something more powerful that does the work for you:
I’m a bad bitch who doesn’t let anyone fuck with her. Imma keep on shining. Because I deserve it.
Make the decision mentally that you are going to become the greatest version of yourself. You are going to start eating healthier and incorporating at least one small habit that will propel you forward. Decide that you’re going to get your things in order and start doing that. Start small.
But decide you’re going to be HER/HIM. Set your own standard. Make your own rules. When you decide to fake it like that, at some point you will start to believe it, therefore you will have changed at least one thought pattern that was harming you.
That is all, folks.
I hope you took just a little something out of all these and I would love if you shared in the comments what 2024 taught you or one piece of advice you would give to other people for the next year.
As a now resident of Barcelona, feliz 2025 mi amigos!